Finished first semester with B in HC 1 (6 credit course), B+ in Pharm (1 credit course), A in PN 1 (1 credit course), with overall GPA 3.16 and while I'm not completely happy about my GPA (because of me comparing myself to my older sister when I understand & know that we are two very different people), I will try to give myself grace knowing that we have 3 teenagers in sports, 2 of which at the tail end of their high school years, both Bill and I work full time so, needless to say our lives are VERY busy.
I wish that I could say that I'm proud of my accomplishments this semester with everything that I have done but, yet I'm sitting here questioning why I didn't do more? I know that I capable of more, I should have tried harder because I know that I can graduate with honors.
I feel like I'm chasing this impossible dream because while I know that I'm clinical smart and I know what to do in urgent/emergent situations, I know that I have to work twice if not three times as hard as my peers/classmates to get the same grades them. I guess that is why I was hesitated to even consider going back for my RN in the first place. A prime example of being clinical smart versus classroom smart, I failed 3 out of 4 comps first time up this semester because while I know what to do in the clinical "real" world setting, I get so nervous and anxious in "safe" setting that I can't process and/or perform the skills that needed to pass the comps properly (mainly b/c I'm watching and judged). I'm extremely grateful for instructors that tried to give me grace and understanding knowing that I get extremely anxious/nervous while being watch and try to remind me to slow down.
I have definitely learned through the course of this semester that I'm way harder and have way higher standards for myself than those around me. I'm more knowledgeable than I thought I was, and that I enjoy seeing others' accomplish their goals and/or learning a skill. I have learned that I was truly always meant to be a nurse, I can't explain it other than I can't image be in any other profession.
I wish that I could say that I'm going to enjoy the winter session off but, that isn't my personality nor my life with 3 teenagers between modified track, varsity bowling, varsity track, winter guard, finished up online Microbiology course, working full time, and Bill working full time and bus trip. I will try to take a couple of days to step back and realized that I survived my first semester of RN school with overall B, which is pretty awesome.
